"ONCE upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a princess; but she would have to be a real princess. He travelled all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted." --Hans Christian Andersen, The Princess and the Pea.

She holds back her tears and throws her hands up in dismay. In front of her is a stack of dishes to be washed. Her husband turns to speak and remind her about the mountain of laundry in the other room. And just then, she caves. In tears, she yells, "Don't you know you married a princess?"

Elsewhere in suburban America, another young Filipina is changing her baby's nth poopie diaper of the day. She catches her reflection in a nearby mirror and is shocked to see the grey hairs sprouting out of her disheveled hair. She feels so tired and wishes she could spend a day at the spa like she used to back home.

Later that day, the two princesses commiserate over the phone. Though they are living coasts apart, they have never felt so close. Back in Manila, they grew up together in the same "exclusive" school. Neither rich nor poor but living a comfortable lifestyle paid for by their parents, (and naturally, in their parents homes). They realize how much they had taken for granted -- the yays, the maids, the lavanderas, the cooks, the drivers-- the entire service sector. Where are they now? In America, you even have to empty your own tray at McDonald's.

Married with babies in America, life is a different sort of adventure. Marriage is easy compared to the daily household challenges the princesses have had to face. The chores -- cooking, cleaning and even paying bills -- are a daily challenge on good days; and on bad days, they are viewed as crosses to bear. "Heck, I didn't go to college for this!!! "They think to themselves, with a tinge of arrogance. Another response might be, "They didn't teach us how to do this in college!"

Meet the princesses of Manila. Not rich, not poor -- they more or less share the same background. Their parents worked hard to keep them in good schools. Their parents provided them with all their needs. And there was always someone that did things for them -- whether it was an ate or kuya, manang or manong, yaya or maid, driver or gardener. Face it, Filipinos are taught to be somewhat co-dependent. Their parents allow them to stay in their houses forever -- even adult children are never asked (nor expected) to leave or pay rent. Try explaining that to an American.

"America is the worst place to bring up your children if you want them to stay Filipino. Dont bring them to a country that promotes independence and voicing ones opinion. That doesnt work in a Filipino house." --Comedian Rex Navarete quoted from the Philippine Star.

America is the land of self-serve and D.I.Y. To succeed, one must learn to be self-sufficient and independent. The princesses may be overwhelmed at first, by the chores she once overlooked. But now she is learning with the aid of hi-tech appliances and cleaning agents that'll make things cleaner, fresher, brighter than ever!

Adjusting to the American life and culture, they realize how much they had taken their yaya-manang-maids for granted. And yet, they are teaching their own children how to be independent and self-sufficient. They are somehow thankful that at least their kids won't be more attached to their caregivers than to their mothers.

They are thankful that while they have no one else to rely on but themselves to get on with their day-to-day lives in the U.S., they do get a little help from Mr. Clean, the Dirt Devil, Maytag and all sorts of technology.  Pero iba pa rin siyempre pag may katulong (na tao!)  (translation: And yet it is still naturally different when there is an actual person helping you out!) Filipinos and their "helpers," for that is what they are, share a complex and profound relationship. They are not called mere "employees" for goodness sake! They are part of the family. While there are many "feudal" aspects in the whole katulong-amo (helper-boss) relationship, the bond between ate/senyorita slash katulong run deep.

Raise a glass to the yayas, manangs and manongs out there! They sure have their work cut out for them .

Finally, I am reminded of an article by Jessica Zafra from long ago. In it, she theorizes that Filipinos will  eventually rule the world, due to the fact that the world's future leaders all have Filipina caregivers. That's certainly something to think about. YA-YA!

ANG PRINSESA, bow.

End.